


1 to a million (and 9)

by thatonetacokid



Category: TWICE (Band)
Genre: F/F, i think about twice a lot day by day, relationship tags will be added as new chapters form, they all mean a lot to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-06-08
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:01:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,651
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13201392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatonetacokid/pseuds/thatonetacokid
Summary: writings in the form of either a drabble or poem- bloomed by feeling.-Multiple twice pairings or a focus of just one member.





	1. It's just you all the time | SaChaeng- [M]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> [rated m] - things get spicy.

Sana enjoys the game of push of pull, lives for the moments of weakness that she can pull from others. She can see the glued cracks that many seem to think they have hidden well. Chaeyoung though, Chaeyoung has seemed to find a way to keep her cracks from breaking and while it excites her, it more so frustrates her. Instead she finds her own cracks becoming deeper and the feeling of vulnerability makes her bones twitch with fear. Yet, her eyes out of habit search and they find Son Chaeyoung who looks back to her with bored eyes.

So sana remembers the bored eyes that consume her thoughts as she lays alone, naked; her hands travel, explore herself but all she can feel is Chaeyoung. Bored eyes become dark, smaller hands travel throughout her body, her breasts squeezed carefully; nipples lightly pinched and pulled. Her hips rise in an instant, strong arms move to hold them down. No movement, she thinks, Chaeyoung wouldn't want her to move yet; not until she's explored more of her. Edge of fingertips trace along her stomach, light ghost kisses are felt along her collarbones. She feels her hips twitch a bit as she begins to tease her folds and the sharp gasp is let out into the dry air of her room. 

Soaked, she is soaked by thoughts. Soaked by dark bored eyes of someone who wants no part of her. Yet, Sana thinks, Chaeyoung would love this, to see her like this, to destroy her like this; so she enters a finger inside of her swiftly, easily. Fucks herself greedily because she knows that, feels that chaeyoung would want her like this; desperate. Hips begin to want to meet and another finger is inserted, eyes rolled back, harsh squeezes to each breast, loud gasps. Excitement, she sees excitement in those dark eyes. A smirk, her dimple out. This, this is how she would want me; her fingers curl, her throat closes and sana comes with a silent scream.

Her hips roll along lazily as the orgasm wears off, light sweats shines her body, eyes are heavy; she licks her fingers clean, lets it sit on her tongue and wonders if Chaeyoung would moan at the taste as she does. Her eyes close and she dreams of Son Chaeyoung who instead stares at her with eyes of longing. She sees her cracks and it causes sana to sleep through the night with a smile placed upon her face. At least in her dreams she can pretend that no one has the ability to see her cracks, not even young, beautiful, and mysterious Son Chaeyoung.

* * *

inspired by this ([x](http://www.gramunion.com/pjm9ac.tumblr.com))

 

 


	2. I'm coping | JeongChaeng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An unrequited love/friends with benefits AU?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning for Drug abuse & addiction. 
> 
> I want to stress that I, in no way, approve of the abuse of prescription drugs. This is purely fictional.

Jeongyeon feels the light burn upon both of her upper arms as her high continues to fade away, tip of her tongue as well as the roof of her mouth have a dry numbness that a newly open cold can of coca cola can't get rid of. Her chest is tight, forcefully squeezed by reappearing anxiety that had finally went away early this afternoon once she had swallowed her orange for the day. Teeth chatter slightly as legs vibrate with no movement; She feels all too much, feels too human. Cold hands squeeze the back of her neck firmly, extra weight is added to her lap; she's finally saved, she mentally exasperates.

Chaeyoung kisses her with a safe firmness that has her body shouting in glee because now she isn't stuck. Jeongyeon's hands squeeze harshly onto the smaller girls sides, arms pulling the light weighted body against her. Chaeyoung takes care of her the way she knows she needs, her nails dig into Jeongyeon's neck; she drags them up until she entangles both hands into her short blonde hair so that she can tug on it so roughly. Upper and bottom lip are nipped upon as Chaeyoung's tongue will at times move to taste her own, to taste her mouth. 

This isn't about love, this is how Jeongyeon now survives. Chaeyoung is merely the water that puts out the flames that she herself has set ablaze. A part of her feels the guilt at each moan that will escape her younger friends lips; each gasp, groan, and whimper. She sees the tiny light of hope in Chaeyoung's eyes in that maybe Jeongyeon will want her as something more. Alas, Jeongyeon is selfish, the only thing that wants is her oranges, her adderall. The energy, concentration, feeling of invincibility! Pain is dimmed, personal weaknesses don't exist; Jeongyeon is swimming in what has to be happiness in a pill. 

 They search for air together, breaths intertwining because of the closeness. Jeongyeon's eyes are half lidded, her throat burns as Chaeyoung's breath continues to hit the back of it. Her ears pick up on the tiny whimpers that continue to leave Chaeyoung's mouth, her tongue licks her lips causing her to notice the now bits of skin that have been torn. She opens her eyes fully and takes in how the girl in her lap is. She notices the prominent red lines that run down each arm, the indents of  her nails on both sides of her neck, bruised top and bottom lip, and the now crinkled bottom half of the young girls spaghetti strapped shirt.

They both breathe silently once more; Jeongyeon has fully returned. The digital clock reads 3:26 in the morning, her stomach turns. She knows Chaeyoung wants to say something; wants Jeongyeon to open up. Her young friend is wise though, she rises from Jeongyeon's lap; shoes slip on easily.  Her small purse wraps around her shoulder and within 20 steps, Jeongyeon hears the door close. She rises from her couch, left elbow is left with a tiny burn, corner of her right ear has a flame, and as she plops down into her bed; she notices the tiny pinch still left against her heart. 

Her thoughts think of tomorrow; another orange will slide down her throat and Chaeyoung will come back to help her cope once another high begins to fade away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> personal experiences combined with late night thoughts can bloom interesting things like this. again i want to stress that this is fiction. give me your thoughts? it's 4 in the morning.
> 
> Okay | Chase Atlantic
> 
> Swim | Chase Atlantic


	3. Forgive me, I'm sorry. | 2yeon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She loves Nayeon but, never once has she been in love with her.

She thinks Nayeon has probably known since the first 'i love you' that spilled from her mouth when they (Nayeon, 22 and Jeongyeon, 20) had just begun their adult lives. Jeongyeon does love her though but she has never once been in love with her. They both got annoyed with each other so easily; Nayeon found her to be such a stick in the mud about mostly everything while Jeongyeon can't stand how absolutely careless she can be when it comes to important matters. Nayeon was loyal though, she had never once left her, not even if the fight had almost became violent. Nayeon understands the space Jeongyeon needs on a daily basis, knows that being alone soothes her. 

Neither of them can cook, and they don't ever try to improve for each other. It's always simple dishes or take out food and Jeongyeon is extremely content with it. Public displays of affection are kept to a minimum; the occasional peck on the cheek or corner of each other lips, holding each others hands or nayeon wrapping herself around one of her arms. She knows though, Jeongyeon knows that Nayeon loves affection, knows that she wants hot searing breathless kisses, wants Jeongyeon to hold her tighter; to show that Nayeon is her girl and no one should come near. Jeongyeon doesn't though, never once and Nayeon never complains.

Their families love one another, they never have asked either of them if something was wrong. Both of them make sure to keep them blinded by the truth. Jeongyeon thinks the holidays and birthdays are the times when she and Nayeon become oscar worthy actresses. Jeongyeon becomes the girl Nayeon really wants and she thinks that her girlfriend relishes all of it. Friends though, Jeongyeon knows they are harder to fool. They both have 7 other friends in common and one of them knows them both since young age. Jihyo is harder to fool.

It's the big round eyes, Jeongyeon thinks. It's hard to lie to her eyes. She thinks Jihyo has an idea, knows that maybe her and nayeon are really just together because it's all that they know. Jeongyeon also thinks that Nayeon has someone else, is really in love with someone else; is in love with one of their mutual friends. Hirai Momo, and really Jeongyeon isn't even mad; she doesn't even care. The only thing she dislikes is the look of guilt that momo will give her every time their eyes find one another. It makes her want to console Momo, to tell her that she's never been in love with Nayeon in the first place. She can't though, that would mean she has to give up what she knows, has to give up Nayeon.

She just can't lose her, can't lose the security that Nayeon brings her, can't lose her routine. She thinks Nayeon can't lose her either, can't leave her for momo because she's afraid of really falling and it ending up failing. After all, they have never really been in love with each other. Maybe at one point Nayeon felt something for her, felt the beginning of it. She doesn't know though, because even though they've known each other for years, Nayeon has once let her inside of her mind. Maybe that's why she could never fall in love with Nayeon, she can't remember what the older girl is really like or if she's ever really known. 

Jeongyeon is 28 now and her Nayeon is 30. They are so old and so goddamn miserable. She catches Nayeon sobbing in the middle of the night out on their balcony, never sleeps through it once and never goes to console her either. Tonight though, Nayeon's birthday, she hears it once again. It's in that instant that she finally moves. She backhugs her tightly and feels Nayeon freeze, feels her trembling. Her voice is groggy as she hears words leave her mouth, "forgive me," Nayeon's body jolts, she hears the multiple swallows, knows that Nayeon is trying to prevent herself from breaking; Jeongyeon squeezes her tightly. "I have made you suffer for too long, I have heard you cry for too long, lied for too long," 

Jeongyeon is crying, snot beginning to fall from her nostrils as she hides her face in-between Nayeon's clothed shoulder blades, "You have needed me, needed me to make you happy and all i have done was let you crumble while i went about my days," They both are huddled together on the cold concrete of their balcony, choked sobs escaping instead of words. They fall asleep like that, and even though every ounce of her wants to scold herself she awakens and her thoughts rush to the girl still in her arms. Her Nayeon who's eyes are puffy and nose covered in dry snot. "forgive me," she whispers once more and Nayeon's eyes flutter open. It's the first time they've both really ever looked at each other since they were young. 

Nayeon takes her face gently into her palms so she can rest her forehead upon hers. "I forgive you," Nayeon's voice is strained and Jeongyeon knows that she will get a cold. They both know they can't leave one another, know that they can't erase the past and can't make their own feelings change overnight. But as they both look at each other, as they both see and feel their own pain. They know that they can fall, because Im Nayeon doesn't know anyone better than Yoo Jeongyeon and Yoo Jeongyeon doesn't know anyone better than Im Nayeon. They will start anew, and this time Jeongyeon thinks, this time when she says 'i love you' she really will be in love with her. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a part two could happen for this but currently i'm unsure. hopefully you enjoy. also this is semi-proof read so please if u catch anything, and it irks you, let me know.
> 
> Love-Belt | Jonghyun


	4. 21.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little something I wrote when I first found out Jihyo was getting a melody project.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly though, justice for mina, sana, and jihyo. They deserved the same amount of amazing feels that Chaeyoung's melody project showed. I will fight for them all if I have to.

Beautiful girl, what are you thinking? You must be excited and nervous.

You always excel, yet, you still fear the worst. I know that you do believe.

Soak in a hot bath, remind yourself how long you waited for your dream; you are living it, you are here.

 

The nerves are still alive, scary butterflies roam throughout your body, hoping to convince you of what is not true.

don't let them in, look around you; the facts tell no lies.

you are untouchable.

 

I am not saying you have no flaws, I am saying you have worked hard, are still doing so.

you are learning much, growing wiser.

no one can touch you, because you work with determination! no matter how much your body aches to crash.

 

You have this, breathe. We all believe in you.

Shut those negative thoughts out.

you are Park Jihyo, the one and only.

we love you as you.

 

Now let your mind be for a moment, and show us your heart.


	5. going to you | mochaeng

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it's the beginning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> listen to shinee's, 'good evening' for enhanced feelings

her mind chants, constant, it continues for hours upon end, 'momo is hers, momo is hers' and chaeyoung can feel the happiness spreading throughout her chest from the rough pounding coming from her heart. Her right hand cradles the soft bare cheek, her thumb running along it slowly while their eyes are locked with one another. Chaeyoung feels like momo holds the key to the universe within her irises, she can't even allow herself to blink with the fear that she'll miss out on something utterly important. 

Her breathing all but stops once momo shines a bright toothy smile, she can feel hands running through her hair lovingly and in an instant her eyes close as her lips are made to meet with momo's. The harsh rush of air she breathes in through her nostrils awakens a vibration of energy, her hands desperately losing themselves within short black locks, gripping onto handfuls; her lips moving nervously with the careful and sweet ones of momo's. whines vibrate along her throat and once she feels a strong thigh between her legs she has to separate the kiss to release a desperate moan, as if this has been the feeling she has been missing throughout her life. 

her eyes open slowly when she feels momo's nose touch hers and again she finds herself lost. momo dips forward, her eyelashes tickle chaeyoung's cheeks but her kisses feel sticky sweet like delicious golden maple syrup, so chaeyoung allows the tip of her tongue to take little tastes of momo's lips as she responds with deep sentimental kisses. their noses bump here and there, tips of their tongues meet and greet each other quickly, momo's nails grip along her upper back while chaeyoung tugs lightly on momo's hair which cause cute soft groans to escape her.

their heartbeats move insync as they lay chest against chest. as they separate, both girls breathe in and out harshly; their foreheads against one another and their eyelids barely able to stay open. both girls know that in this moment, inside their minds, both are declaring that they love one another. neither decide to say it out loud, because now isn't the right time. chaeyoung falls asleep to the thumps of momo's heartbeat and momo watches the rise and fall of chaeyoung's chest for just a short while before her eyes too, close.

at sunrise, chaeyoung awakens first, silently she removes herself from momo, her sketchbook back into her hands; she opens it, carefully taking the time to sketch what she saw from within momo's eyes. All the while the latter opens her eyes and lays comfortably, taking in the view of the girl who has her heart, her face stoiec and unfazed as she stays focused, her hair now tied into a ponytail but still messy, lips slightly swollen and the sight gives her stomach a pleasant hum.

it's the beginning, time for now is on their side, and when both of them find each other's eyes they realize that this is the first time they can see what love looks like; and so they kiss, they kiss how they love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> slightly proofread, if you find any mistakes please let me know.
> 
> leave a comment if you would like to tell me your thoughts or feelings on it.
> 
> follow me on twitter?: @jihyosgoldenboy
> 
> good vibes, ay~

**Author's Note:**

> u chill?
> 
> Touch | Haux  
> Adore | Cashmere Cat (feat. Ariana Grande)


End file.
